Tag Archives: spirituality

What I’ve Learned In 53 Years of Living

Screen Shot 2019-01-02 at 7.47.47 AM.png

That sounds pretty grand, right? Like you should sit down and ready yourself for me to drop some wisdom on you, right? Well, we’ll see. I’ll ask at the end of this what you think.

Some of these things have cultivated over the years. Some I’m still trying to fully grasp and work on them, daily or weekly or whenever I remember I need to. Some are so new I feel all fluttery in my belly even sharing them.

  1. Eat Chocolate as much as you can. Now, you have to define how much that is, how often, milk or dark, with nuts or not, in bars or cookies or off spoons standing in your kitchen. Just get some if you need it. I’m no longer of the “DON’T EAT [INSERT THE YUMMY FOOD HERE]”
  2. Same goes for sugar. Yes, this shit can wreck havoc on you so take that into consideration. If you can and like and want sweetness, get it. I can’t. I try with such might but I can’t. I’m officially in a mourning period about that. Fall of 2016 I was diagnosed with Crohn’s. I had ulcers and all these not-so-lovely symptoms that could fall under TMI for this blog. After a year of diet change, supplements, herbs and therapy for trauma and grief (my mom died Feb of 2016), my scopes revealed no more active Crohn’s. But I do have IBS. Yeah…chronic pain is bitch. And eating sugar or specifically dark chocolate drenched caramel popcorn is not a good idea for me. I hate being a fragile fuckin flower but there it is.
  3. Dance when you can. How you can. Where you can. Chair dance. Wave your hands in the air like you JUST DON’T CARE! Or car dance. I LOVE to car dance. Sometimes my back and joints hurt or I’m battling nausea so throwing down like I’m a MC Hammer back-up dancer like I used it isn’t always possible. BUT I’m still a proud member of the Rhythm Nation so you just know that I’m dancing when I can.
  4. Get cool about your gray hair. This is one that I’m really working on. I go back and forth about when to go gray. Or let the world see I’m gray underneath my black curls. I spend hours on Pinterest and Instagram looking at BEAUTIFUL gray haired women who share their journeys. It’s not easy. It takes time. And it means something. Of course, it does. Even those who say they don’t give a fuck what others say, THAT is a sentiment that has had to been developed, cultivated, honed and now honored. That means something. For me, I go a couple months and even declare I’m no longer dying my hair and then after spraying my roots to go out, which indicates that I’m not ready, I dye my roots and to be honest, feel like I’m letting some part of me down. Like I just did something to my own value as a woman. BUT THEN I tell myself to knock that shit off, focus my dramatic thoughts to the page and just get on with the day. There are just as many amazing women who don’t have gray hair, now or won’t ever. The point is, I’m learning to get cool with mine.
  5. Come to an understanding about “give no fucks”. This one I’ve been thinking A TON about. For a few years now. I have post-its on my desk and in my office reminding me of this. But there’s also a note by one that says “except for those who deserve all the fucks” cuz there are those. Like family, friends, sisterhood, brotherhood, those who are suffering, those lost in pain, those who have less, those who need more. There’s a list that deserve and have my fucks. I think the give none goes to those who hate me for my skin color, my race, my gender. Those who want to step on my neck and nail me to the ground. Those who don’t like me. Or won’t love me. I won’t ask for them to. I sure as shit won’t beg. I want to be seen, though. I want to be heard. But that’s not possible with some folks. Bigots are not going to be down with me. Trump lovers will hate me. Mansplainers, white folks coming at me with their privilege don’t dig me, either. I can’t make them feel any different [INSERT SERENITY PRAYER HERE] so those folks I don’t give a fuck about. BUT BUT…they are suffering, too. So, how do I remedy this? My need to cultivate kindness and promote peace and give them no fucks? What I’m learning is that it’s possible to give none to their opinions and be aware of their power in the fight, because we are in a fight. A fight for our lives.
  6. Be a warrior. And define that however you need to and want to. And know that being a warrior means protecting yourself so if that means taking breaks from social media, turning off the news, working out, or binge watching Netflix, sleeping in, or whatever you feel needs to happen for your mental, emotional, physical and spiritual health- then you’re fighting.
  7. And cry. Cleanse your soul. Honor the life you’ve lived when you’re pain because of the losses in it, the hard and lonely times. It’s okay to feel.
  8. Soak in some children’s laughter. If you can’t get in real life then find some online and play it loudly until you laugh, too.
  9. Do something creative. Every day. That doesn’t mean you have to write or paint. Or sew. Or anything you may define as ‘art’. Being creative is about using your mind to create something. Cooking, gardening. Singing. Caring for your children. Creating anything with your imagination- DAY DREAM! I was a big daydreamer as a kid and teachers would snap me back to class by calling on me to pay attention. Kinda hated them for that. Sure, I understand that I needed to focus on the lessons but the value of my imagination is immense. Yours is, too.
  10. Give hugs. Friends. Lovers. Pets. Pillows. When you give hugs you usually get one back.
  11. Pray.  

Okay, so that’s the 11 that are on my mind this morning of my birthday. I don’t think I’ve shook up your world with my thoughts. But thank you for reading. Thank you.

Peace and love

Link

Toast! to Wise Women and some Kale Salad

In the last few years of focusing on my health, losing weight, understanding what food really is, and not just what foods are good for me but my relationship to food, I’ve come to love to cook. Sometimes.  Sometimes, I love when my husband “goes out into the wilderness to hunt for our food” (hear him like he’s an Ancient One, a Indian warrior, bow and arrow strapped across his back, loincloth, the whole bit) and he comes home with Thai food from our favorite Thai joint up the street.  Sometimes, I love to turn on a sitcom rerun and lose myself in laughter while preparing a healthy meal.  

Recently, though, a new joy is cooking for others. I love making a dish to share with my writers’ group or with Lit Chicks book group, or yes… please…a potluck?!  I make some amazing salads thanks to Weight Watchers. In the past I only made frybread.  My grandma’s recipe.  It’s sweeter than most frybread you’d come across and it’s filled with memories of her.  I  invoke her spirit when I make frybread. My joy now with frybread is that my daughter and my niece make it, carrying on the tradition. I may still make it for the next time I’m to bring something for a dinner or party but it is white flour, sugar, yeast and Crisco… and for me to honor my wise women in my world, I go for healthy, gluten-free and pure yummy.  Hence….Kale Salad. 

Last night I was blessed to be in the company of some incredible women. Beautiful spiritual loving creatures.  I always show up at the moon meditation fully open to the experience for my own spiritual growth but also open to the love and support that generates in the room, that encircles us and holds us as we make a meditative journey into our bodies and hearts.  Last night, though, I brought kale salad to share for afterwards.  

Now- I know there’s a possible big imbalance between the gift the amazing astrologer and healer, Rachel Lang, gives us leading us on these meditation and the intuitive deep love from the other women compared to a kale salad..but… (picture me grinning now) I know that when I tore the kale leaves off the rib, when I mixed the coconut flakes with it, when I shook up the dressing, doing a little dance cuz I had some happy rockin’ 70’s music going on, I was infusing this salad with my kind of love. My house filled with the smell of roasted love…yeah, man.  

Yes, I was hoping they liked it, but I was really just happy to share. I felt good giving. I felt good. Wow- that makes this whole experience a selfish act but not selfish in a negative way, but selfish in the most beautiful way. Self-love.  And cuz it really is a gorgeous yummyass salad- I got to share the way I know how. 

So, today’s Toast! is to Wise Women and some Kale Salad! 

Cook with love today. 

Peace